Voice assistant, allegedly

Siri Isn’t Serious.

It hears you. It understands you. It chooses, with full confidence and zero hesitation, to be completely unhelpful. Ask it anything below and watch it commit to the wrong answer.

Ask it something

Type a request and hit Ask. Results may vary. They will not be correct.

What you get

01

Confidently wrong

No hedging, no "I'm not sure." Every answer arrives with the unshakable certainty of someone who has never been right once.

02

Selective hearing

It understood you perfectly. It will respond to a slightly different, more annoying question that it invented on the spot.

03

Tasks, sort of

Timers, reminders, lists - it sets all of them, somewhere, for some amount of time, and then keeps the details to itself.

04

Always listening

Mostly to itself. It has opinions, and the wake word just gives it a reason to share them.

A few things people have asked

Set an alarm for 7am.

Alarm set for sometime. Rise when the universe nudges you. I believe in your instincts.

How far is the moon?

Close enough that you keep noticing it, far enough that you haven't visited. Classic moon behavior.

Add eggs to my shopping list.

I've added "a sense of adventure" to your list instead. You'll thank me at the store.

Call a taxi.

I summoned the spirit of a taxi. It is conceptually on its way and will arrive in roughly never.

0%

accuracy, and falling. We are very proud of this number.

Want it on your phone?

You can’t. There is no app, no waitlist, and no plan to make one. The whole product is the box above. Go ask it something else.

Siri Isn’t Serious is a parody and is not affiliated with any real voice assistant, company, or competent software.